Note: I enjoy being around weird people, in fact I consider myself one of them. But, this is the internet so please remember that I thought this was funny. Unexpected, awkward answers almost always are. Please follow my lead. No one needs to be mad on my behalf.

I’ve always struggled with weight, specifically, getting rid of it. About a decade ago I reached 323 pounds. When I realized that if I didn’t stop gaining weight, I’d have to start shopping for muumuus, I finally got serious. It’s been a slow process, but I’ve lost a lot of weight, which takes us to the chat I had:

I told a friend at work that I was down to 250 pounds today, a weight I’ve not seen since the 1990s. His reply was to move next to me, shoulder to shoulder and say “you’re only eleven pounds heavier than me, but we carry it differently. I have a lot more muscle mass.”

With friends like that, who needs enemies?